December 2009
I made a Bite Size Blog for NYE
http://cathairtumbleweeds.com/
NY Resolutions
1) Cancel all my subscriptions to garbage women’s and tabloid-esque magazines.
2) Make it to Guatemala and back in one piece and immediately afterwards start saving $ to go on another volunteer teaching trip in 2011.
3) Stop pissing away $ on stupid shit. This means no unaccompanied Target trips and no more damn clothes because THEY DON’T ALL FIT IN MY CLOSET.
4) Make the time to...
1 tag
formspring.me
How old were you your first time and what has happened to your first partner since then?
I was 18 in a very relationshippy relationship. Standard went to college tried to do long distance and broke up situation. After we broke up we didn’t speak for about 10 years but have recently reconnected and buried the hatchet via Facebook. He has been subsequently married & divorced and is now...
V Magazine preview: Curves Ahead by Solve Sundsbo →
Heck Yes. That chick in the leopard print bodysuit is FIERCE. If only they hadn’t felt the need to still photoshop the pics. Sigh.
“I believe that Bob Dylan and James Brown had a baby. And they abandoned that...”
– Jon Stewart on Bruce Springsteen for The Kennedy Center Honors (via shaneblog) (via mnik)
Jon Stewart and Bruce Springsteen mentioned in the same sentence makes me feel funny in my parts.
1 tag
formspring.me
I just want to anonymously tell you that you are damn gorgeous and congratulate you on getting to a point of not being ashamed of your body. How would you suggest I help a loved one who is working on getting there?
Oh. Hmm. There’s a toughy.
First of all: thank you for the congratulations, but I’m nowhere near qualified to answer that question. Every day is a...
Who wants a visitor?
Okay, people within driving distance of CHI? I have 1/2 thru 1/17 off from work AND school. Who wants me to show up at their doorstep? I am neat and tidy and funny and nice to look at and I will cook for you and regale you with tales from the rich pageant that is my life.
NB: I would consider driving distance anything I can drive in one day. So 10-12 hours or so.
Also: if you are IN CHI and have...
Now that part of my left buttcheek is on the...
<cringe>
Might as well throw one of these puppies out for all my new followers who came here in the hopes of seeing more of my bits.
Ask me anything http://formspring.me/Jewles
Remember?
atsween:
Remember when you were a kid and you saw an incredible movie — like “Star Wars” — and when you left the movie you couldn’t think straight? When the world of the movie was superimposed over your mind’s eye? When your Dad had to grab your arm to keep you from walking into lampposts? When he had to say your name three times just to tell you the car was over here, Jason Jason Jason, over...
What I expect
indefensible:
marco:
My content will be stolen and republished in ways that violate my extremely permissive Creative Commons license. This will be done by both bots and humans. The bots will use my content to steal pennies from advertisers and time from people. Some of the humans won’t realize they’re doing anything wrong. The others think I won’t notice.
People will misquote, re-title, and...
Ladybug: There Are People Who Care. I Promise.
knitterplease:
Unrelated to anything except my life why do I always put myself in a position of parenting people who simultaneously desperately need and violently resist parenting?
Well, hello. Welcome to my life. Over here on the left you’ll have cripplingly low self-esteem thanks to years of constant rejection by people who didn’t deserve my attention to begin with.
On the...
Typical @KrisLynch and @Jewles Chat
kristin.lynch: dude do you have food network handy?
sandra lee's holiday show is on. hysterical
me: Hmm, Id have to find the clicker
She drives me insane
What a crackhead
kristin.lynch: she says her family calls her 'aunt sandi claus'. i'm sure that's not all they call her.
why is she dressed like such a tramp in the kitchen? ;)
me: Yeah "drunken plastic ho-bag" might be another nickname
kristin.lynch: haah
me: She's so gross.
Trailer trash is trailer trash no matter how much money and lighting and makeup you put on it
kristin.lynch: my sister and i make up our own sandra lee-esque recipes
speaking of trash...she was decorating a table for thanksgiving...
and put leaves and stuff from her back yard all over the table and i thought 'that's shit that gets raked up and put in trash bags!'
they were crumbly leaves from fall and i wondered how awful that tablecloth was going to look and if there were any animal droppings in those leaves.
god she's a whore
me: EWWW. There's worms and bubonic plague in those things.
Everyone is going to get leaf herpes who eats at that table
kristin.lynch: i wonder how often her family wishes they were ina garten or that italian chick's family instead
me: Id vote for Ina Garten. Giada has better boobs, of course, but her head is SO BIG compared to her body and her teeth scare me. I think she wants to eat me and not in a fun way.More in a Donner Party Jeffrey Dahmer kind of way
kristin.lynch: right
oddly i brought up the donner party over drinks last night
they were telling me about oregon trail (the game) and i suggested a donner party game would make things more interesting
me: Nothing like a good old cannibalism story over cocktails
kristin.lynch: right
that's what i always say
My Latest Endeavor In Procrastination →
1 tag
I am jealous of your hips. →
frageelaytwit:
(via katydidsays)
I am so sorry to hear about this, and I know exactly what that daily, grinding pain and the fear feels like. I need a new ankle, and it’s getting down to the “only a matter of time” stages. And Dan’s new health insurance is the ONLY company who outright refuses to pay for replacements, claiming it’s too new even though it’s no longer considered experimental....
“Everytime I watch Patton Oswalt do obscene stand-up, I’m like, “I don’t know if...”
– Ryan (via shoesonwrong)
State of Affairs
I am gonna be sparse around here for awhile. You all know I’ve been dealing with Fibromyalgia and all that entails, but I’ve got a whole mess of other things that need my attention right now and I need to focus more on those things right now. If you have my email: email me. If you have my #: call or text me. Like, with some frequency. Poke me to make sure I am still breathing....
FUCK you "NEW YORK" and your faggy "PIZZA." ...
margann:
johnwilkestooth:
triphop:
(via johnwilkestooth)
2 WORDS:
MARYLAND CRABCAKES
ONE WORD AND A CONTRACTION.
YOU’RE
WRONG
yeah fuck a crabcake, cheesesteaks beat them 20 times to infinity
Apples and oranges people. But NY pizza beats shitty CHI style pizza everyday. I would kill someone for REALLY good NY pizza.
Well, look, it's middle school all over again.
Yeah, these little memes are silly but I’m bored within an inch of my life and trying to distract myself from the usual Vortex of Dark Twistyness in my brain space.
I confess that in 2009, I have….
thechocolatebrigade:
( ) stayed single for the whole year ( ) made out in/on a car () kissed in the snow (x) celebrated Halloween () kissed in the rain ( ) had your heart broken ()...
1 tag
formspring.me
I’m bored, and curious what you’d like to know about me! Ask me anything http://formspring.me/Jewles
Why can't we send stupid people off to an island?...
Oh, man. I’ve discussed this ad nauseam for about the past decade. I suggested Canada for this purpose as well. The only problem with this is, once all the stupid people are gone, who will I make fun of?
Why Women Hate Men - The Blog: WWHM Blames Porn... →
I’d like to make a million copies of this and pay people to distribute it at El stops during rush hour. As a public service.
I'm tired of making excuses for people
mford:
I’m way too nice for my own good. People see that and take advantage… I over look a lot of stuff because I choose to see the good in people. I want to believe that there is still good out there in the world. Sometimes though, I think I turn a blind eye too often, and some people just don’t deserve that kind of courtesy. I don’t think I should make excuses for inconsiderate, insensitive...
Mas Preguntas, Por Favor!
Well, I’m feverish and bored, so ask me some exciting questions, will ya? http://www.formspring.me/Jewles
Coat Of Charms - Ed westwick tongue - Jezebel →
Cheese and Rice he is trying to kill me with that tongue hanging out! Oh Chuck Bass…
"The Most Successful Women In The World Were The... →
If Tim Gunn and Elton John got into a fight, who...
I would have to go with Elton on this one. While Mr. Gunn is very dry and acerbic, I really don’t think he’s as bitchy as Elton is. Plus, Elton’s ego is ten times bigger so he’d have more to lose.
Ok.... do you clench or spread wide when a man is
Sorry, WolfcraaftXXX, felt like I needed to PG-13 up that question a little so as not to scare anyone off. :)
I will answer your question in the form of a question.
Who the hell clenches? What would be the point of that?
For "Sexy Stuff Thursday"...
I’m wearing my husband’s giant sweatpants! And haven’t showered yet!
And, people are asking me questions via: http://formspring.me/Jewles